Sometimes I wish there were a safe place on this campus for white people to ask honest questions about race relations without being refuted with animosity. I feel trapped. No matter what I say, I am fearful of being attacked. When I try to support my black friends, my help is quickly disregarded due to my inability to understand since I have “never experienced racism.” When others inquire as to why I care about ending racism, my answer, “because I care about my black friends,” is met with a quick, “What, are they your token black friends? Are they just there to fill a quota and make you feel better about yourself?” When I have any sort of criticism toward the methods being used in the fight to end racism, I am accused of being racist myself.
There was so much that I was wanting to write in this letter to the editor, but I deleted all five drafts out of fear of being judged as an “ignorant white person.” The common exasperation, “ugh, white people,” followed by an obvious eye roll, has left me paralyzed with my mouth taped shut. My heart is broken because racism is something I am very passionate about ending, especially on this campus. Tears fill my eyes as I write this letter because I feel like there is so much I want to say, but am not allowed to say. My thoughts are being barricaded by the people I want to help. Maybe one day my voice as an outsider will be heard, and I can finally have an opinion on what occurred on Snapchat on February 3, 2018.