Ever since I was a little girl, I knew who I was, and I was proud to be black. It was not always easy as I had to defend the fact that I could still be black even if I am light-skinned and mixed. With this in mind, I want to discuss the concept of hair.
I went to a predominately white school, and I always felt like the odd one out. Every morning as I was getting ready for school I would slick my hair back and tie it in a tight bun. I remember the first time I tried to wear my hair out, and I was asked if my “African” hair could be touched. I only recall one other time I let my natural hair out. I was at my school’s end-of-the-year pool party, and all the other white girls had their hair out. I wanted to look like them, so I let my hair fall. When it was wet, it looked tamed and long. Everyone loved it.
The problem came when the party was over and my hair started to dry. It grew bigger and bigger and I didn’t even know how to manage it. I remember sitting in my friend’s room waiting for my mom to pick me up and feeling slightly embarrassed. After that, instead of learning how to appreciate and take care of my natural hair, I learned how to straighten it.
Recently, I have begun the process of taking care of my curls. My hair isn’t thick and tightly curled like most black girls’. Some say that I have “good hair”; others say my hair isn’t black enough for me to know the struggle. I say, I wish people would not put my identity in my hair because it makes it that much harder for me not to do the same.
So to the black girl who bases her worth on how the world views her hair: remember that what is inside of your heart and mind is worth so much more than what is on top of your head. Just breathe. The God who knows the number of strands of hair you possess loves you. You are by far worth more than just your hair. You are a black queen, and your hair is simply the crown to remind you. I hope you remember that every time you look in the mirror. After all, this reminder is for me too, and I refuse to let anyone tell me differently.
Because, ever since I was a little girl, I knew who I was, and I will always be proud to be black.