Am I black enough?
- Sierra Correia
- Feb 22, 2018
- 2 min read
When people look at me and ask where I’m from, I think the absolute last thing they expect me to say is: Bermuda. And honestly, I don’t blame them. Most of the people I’ve met in this country don’t have any concept about what Bermudian people look like – how we’re diverse and unique, yet we can pick out one of our own pretty easily. So, when people look at me, they automatically assume that I’m Hispanic or Spanish or, on one strange occasion, Asian. It often makes me wonder if I should even claim the true essence of my culture, being black mixed with Portuguese.
Bermuda is a small island stranded in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, roughly 24 miles long. You could drive from one end of the island to the next in about two and a half hours if you know the right way to go. Maybe that’s the reason why it’s hard for any one of us to figure out what our race actually is; we’re all so mixed up. So, most of us, even the ones who don’t look like it (like me), claim black.
Growing up, I think I always knew I was different from my siblings. Or maybe they were just different from me. But I never thought anything of it. Sure, I had paler skin and looser curls and a pointed nose. We were family, so it didn’t matter. Even when I went to a predominantly black public and then private school, I didn’t notice. I was black because my mom’s side of the family was black and that was all that mattered.
Then I came out to America, and, for the first time, I noticed. I know I don’t look like my friends, and I certainly don’t sound like them. I never thought it was something to be ashamed of until I came to a country that already has a mental picture of what the word “black” means, and I just didn’t fit it. It was here that I first began to look at my Portuguese lineage a bit more closely. It was here that I first began to say that I was mixed with Portuguese (and black). Because when I start off with black, I get this look of confusion that people don’t realize is splattered across their face, so I backtrack and explain until it goes away.
I am black. I know this as well as I know that I love the smell of the ocean. But the question is, am I black enough?