I’m sure most of us have been told at some point in life that relationships consist of hard work and not just feelings. Maybe you’ve even had someone tell you “nothing good ever comes easily.”
At the beginning of almost any relationship, things go smoothly. But then the tough times come. The work gets harder, and it feels like nothing is going right anymore. In almost every relationship I’ve had throughout my life - family, friendships, romantic relationships - I always felt like I needed to do more. I needed to be easier to love, make more time for them or even just win their affection through my actions. Unfortunately, I wasn’t always successful. Now, let’s pause and take a look in the mirror.
I want you to imagine that God is the mirror you are looking into. When you look to God, what do you see? Do the relationships in your life reflect your relationship with God? Do you put as much time and energy into your spiritual relationship as you put into your earthly relationships? Do you find yourself working so hard for the love of your partner that you feel as though you have to work for God’s love too?
These are all questions I have asked myself over the years, and I realized that I was more worried about what others thought of me than what God did. I worked so hard for love and appreciation from others, but I neglected to put time and effort into a relationship with someone who already adored me.
Unfortunately, true love is often misrepresented here on earth. We see movies, read books and listen to music that all paint superficial pictures of love and relationships. We have this mindset that “if I’m pretty enough or I give him enough, maybe he will love me.” Or “if I’m strong enough, wealthy enough or successful enough, maybe she will love me.”
Most of these pictures don’t even include God, which is ironic because He is the definition of love. If we would only open the Bible and put time and effort into a relationship with the One who loved us from the beginning of time, we would see that His love is not something we have to earn. We don’t have to prove to God that we are worthy of His love because, in reality, we never will be. The most beautiful thing about God’s love is that He loves us regardless of our unworthiness. We were created to love and be loved, but not by earthly standards. Once we put in the time and effort and allow God to fill us with His love, He can then use us as a mirror to reflect back on our relationships.
As you continue to reflect, I encourage you to put your name, or the name of a loved one, in the blanks and see if it is true, or if it is something that is lacking in your relationship:
________ is patient
________ is kind
________ does not envy
________ is not proud
________ is not rude
________ is not easily angered
________ is not selfish
________ holds no record of wrong
________ does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth