One of the greatest strengths in Asian culture, I believe, is the ability to strive for greatness. By no means am I implying that other cultures are not great. I am simply alluding to the “all Asians are good at everything” stereotype. While I do think that this strength has served my community well, I firmly believe that it has become one of our greatest weaknesses.
Like many in the Asian community, I live with this constant worry of not being “good enough.” I worry that my grades are not “good enough.” I worry that my future career will never be “good enough.” I worry that my whole life’s work will never be “good enough.” Granted, I do think that I have accomplished some things of substance in my life. However, I still find myself living with this worry of not being “good enough.”
I was always trying to be good at things I was not called to be good at. From the early days of my life, my parents instilled within me this idea of becoming a doctor. So, for the first 18 years of my life, I lived trying to fulfill that which was planted in me. I remember times when I would put on my mom’s lab coat and imagine myself being the doctor my parents were expecting me to be. Yet, I remember feeling physically uncomfortable wearing my mom’s lab coat because I had this strong impression that this was not what I was called to be good at. It was not until my senior of high school that I decided to follow God’s calling to be a pastor. While I do believe that this is where God is calling me to go, I can still feel the judgmental stares of my family members every time I come home for breaks. And again, I am reminded that I will never be “good enough.”
But it is in those moments I gain a better understanding of myself. I come to realize that I will never be “good enough” for myself or for those around me. Furthermore, I come to an even greater realization of my God who brings me to higher places.
So, to my Asian brothers and sisters who understand this struggle: Stop worrying about whether or not you’ll be “good enough.” God already knows the outcome of everything you do. He knows what grade you’re going to get on that test. He knows what graduate school you’re going to go to. He knows who you may or may not end up with. Matter of fact, He knows how many hairs are on your head. So, just stay close to him. Slow down when life gets too hectic. Stray away from the voices that seek to deplete you. Pay attention to the way you feel. And I promise you that God will perform miracles in your life that’ll remind you that you are always good enough for Him.