The other day, when someone spoke of disaster in Texas and I mentioned that my two brothers have been affected, she asked kindly, “How can I help?” I went completely blank.
That’s because it often happens that when tragedy or sudden loss affects you or your loved ones, you can’t think. So here are two suggestions to consider for any circumstance where someone has been personally affected by tragedy.
Reach out and say something.
Acknowledging that something has happened and that you care helps. During the flood, I wanted people around me to know that what was unfolding on TV wasn’t simply news—it was happening to my family members. Though nothing could be done to stop the tragedy, it just helped somehow whenever someone asked, “How are your brothers?” It might not seem like a lot, but saying something that lets the person who’s being personally affected know you are aware and care makes a difference and it helps.
Do something.
Firstly, people who have been personally affected by tragedy often cannot think of what they need, so think up something yourself that you can do. Whether it’s offering a ride to the store, giving a card, preparing a meal or asking if you can simply listen to them talk—having a specific offer to make is better than just asking if you can help. Fortunately, when I went blank after the lady asked me the other day how she could help, a pastor standing nearby overheard and, within minutes, he came up with a helpful idea. Coming up with specific ways to help is in itself helpful because it gives a person who’s dealing with the situation something to focus on, and, in the process, helps him or her be able to think of what is needed.
Secondly, whether or not you know those who are in need or not, you're doing something that makes a difference. Today, the Wal-Mart cashiers were asking everyone at the checkout counter if they’d like to make a donation toward the “Houston Relief Effort.” Many said yes. I felt like telling them I appreciated their donations, because for me, that “relief effort” has specific, familiar names and faces. Maybe to the person standing in line, giving a dollar is just a nice thing to do, but for the one who is personally connected, seeing others do something means a lot.